Wow, so...the Lord told me something today that really ministered to me. He told me that sharing what He is teaching me and changing in me is not about if or when I want to share it, the excitement I get from it, or the closer I feel to Him because of it...nothing I do makes me closer to Him..His cross, grace, mercy, and resurrection are my Lifeline to Him and nothing changes that..so sharing His Good News HAS to be completely and totally me following Him and me letting the Holy Spirit do it's indescribable thing!! It's about His name being proclaimed and lifted high so that He will draw men to Himself (Bible)!! It's not, it CAN'T be about me...how can I make something so about Jesus and His Kingdom and His power about myself and me world??? He is the highest, greatest, and strongest-LORD of all!! God is showing me that I have to be willing to look weak in front of other people so that His grace proves it's sufficiency and that His power is made perfect, and that He can take me where He wants me and make me who He wants me to be (Beth Moore -Crossing Our River of Fear)!
Today, in the devotion, "Dear Jesus" by Sarah Young, Jesus proclaims that He triumphed our performance anxiety and Satan through His finished work on the cross and that His "Brilliant Light" will dispel the performance anxiety we hold in us that we don't even know we live with. Performance anxiety is so built in us that we think it is normal to live with this feeling of failure and inadequacy constantly, but if we lift our eyes to Jesus we can see more clearly His "smile of approval" and unfailing love that cloaks us! The first line in the devotion, "Jesus Lives," also by Sarah Young, reads, "The ultimate protection against sinking during life's storms is developing your friendship with Me". Wow!! I think that is just simply beautiful. Because right before I read that while I was talking with Jesus He had me really appreciate and understand the blessing of just getting to grow in my relationship with Him by being in His Magnificent Presence-He continues to surprise me with His delight and peace. In the Bible Study, "John: The Beloved Disciple" by Beth Moore, yesterday and today God really brought to life just how close Jesus and John were (are), and just how powerful, strong, inspiring, loving, enduring (and the list goes on and on) Jesus truly was. John chose to stick by Jesus through every awesome miracle and the lowest, ugliest thing the world has ever seen. John leaned on Jesus at the passover meal and then kneeled at the cross with the three Mary's and watched Him suffer. Also, it says in the John 19 that there was a garden in the place where Jesus was crucified. Beth Moore talks about how our emotions "swing wildly" when we have to suffer loss, just like John and Mary's were doing that day. But the two pictures of death and birth being side by side show that, "When death of some kind comes and we are willing to take it to the cross, to remain nearby, and to suffer its grief, we will also experience resurrection".....Woahhhhh, soo beyond true and cool, while I was reading God's Word today I just had to sit back and tell God how cool He really is! I mean it's just incredible how He uses things that seem to have no answer and look like they could not be any more hopeless to bring answers, blessings, and glory to His name in His own precious, perfect timing. He doesn't let suffering happen for no reason...In Jesus: The One and Only the fact that we are not able to understand God sometimes, but that He is working all things out and He is faithful- that is the awesome hope we have to hold on to. Beth also talks about how she wants to be known for being all about God and nothing else. Oh, that is how Jesus was, and that's how I want to be too...Lord, please keep humbling me and bringing my ugly sin to my notice so that I can grow in my faith and knowledge and intimacy of and with You, so I will walk in your grace and mercy and that Your Name alone will be lifted high and Your Light will shine into the hearts of everyone and Your Holy Spirit will lead us to your cross, throne, and heart! To be all about Jesus and Your Saving Grace!
Jesus loves you!! Ephesians 3:14-21
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