Whewwww. I'm finally updating this thing :)
So so so much has happened since my last blog. God is truly indescribable...the most beautiful thing to me about Him is that each time I mess up, sin, say something wrong, feel weird, whatever it is-whenever I feel the farthest away from Him and see the huge difference there is between me and Him-THAT'S when He wants me to run to Him - He had His glorious Son come down to earth, live, sweat, bleed, cry, die and RISE AGAIN IN VICTORY so I could run to Him and be washed in His unending, faithful love, grace, and, mercy. When I feel the least worthy-that's when He truly shows me that HE makes me worthy. Jesus defends me. He is my Rescuer, Delight, Restorer, Cleanser - My Life and EVERYTHING - and His Spirit lives in Me...His grace truly is joyfully enough..it leads to repentance. It just amazes me that He is truly our Life and in everything we think, say, do, experience..He is soo deeply, spiritually, and intimately ALIVE. In all that goes on in us and around we can be in tune with His Spirit and His Truth! He gives us desires and delights so we can find pleasure in Him and in seeking Him with our hearts, minds, and souls in every aspect of our lives. He has something so much more in store for us..in this life and in the ONE TO COME. He is soo deeply, magnificently, spiritually intense, but then again He is so simply beautiful and real..It's truly mindboggling. I have come to find that Jesus loves teaching us through highs and lows and in-betweens. Spiritual warfare is a real thing and it can get challenging. BUT the Lord is truly the victor and nothing happens without His approval and knowing. He is our comfort and our powerful strength. He is MIGHTIEST, and that's the most reassuring thing that could ever be true!! So, I truly cannot stand when shame and guilt overcome me. When this happens it means that I have done something horribly wrong and that I let my flesh get in the way and that I am letting the devil have a field day with me and my emotions. But, as I stated earlier, thats when Jesus brings me to His cross and shows me mine. Everyday in my quiet times Jesus challenges me, convicts me, and most of all encourages me. I believe with my whole heart that God is having me go through the John and David Beth Moore bible studies for such a specific reason...they are ALWAYS exactly what I need to hear from Him. He shows me what I need to watch out for, what my tendencies are, and He brings me into His jubilant presence to CELEBRATE what His life and love really are!! Today, in David we learned about when David displayed Christ to Mephiboseth in 2 Samuel. Beth points out that David displayed God's loving kindness, that he initiated the relationship, he displayed God's calming spirit, and that he delighted in restoration. In all of these things God is revealing Himself through the person of David - the man after God's own heart. David exemplifies Christ in these beautiful areas, and Mephibosheth exemplifies us. Beth explains that before Christ rescued us and brought us to the arms of our Father, we too were crippled and unworthy, but because God shows us His kind mercy and initiates a relationship with us through salvation, and calms us down..we are worthy and totally loved in His eyes. At the end of the study Beth points out that one day we will be seated at the ultimate wedding feast, and thinking about that today has just been beyond incredible. Because when you think about how excited you get when you get to have dinner with friends and celebrate something really exciting..no matter what NOTHING compares to this celebration feast!!! We will be the bride of our heavenly groom!!! We will get to be basking in His presence FACE TO FACE!! "We will leap and skip with ecstatic joy!" He is our "shame destroyer" and "the lover of the lame". My most favorite quote from the study is this: "I would never have learned to walk with God on healthy feet had I never experienced sitting at His table as a cripple. My emotional and spiritual healing has come from approaching God in my handicapped state and believing I was His child and worthy of His love." 1 John 3:1. The John bible study really hit home with me today also. The reading was Rev. 21:9-21. Remarkable. The Three in One, through Beth, focused on how John saw his own name written on Jerusalem's foundations. Beth goes on to talk about how John probably never grasped the hugeness of what he and the 12 disciples were apart of, and that they got down on themselves and got overwhelmed just like we do. She says, "Every day I deal with a measure of low self-esteem in ministry. I never feel up to the task. Never smart enough. Never strong enough. Never prayed up enough. Never prepared enough. Do you feel the same way? Then perhaps you also feel the same flood of emotions when this truth washes over you: God loves us. He prepares an inconceivable place for those who receive His love. He highly esteems those how choose to believe His call over the paralyzing screams of their own insecurities. No, our names won't be written on the foundations of the New Jerusalem, but they are engraved on the palms of His hands." Wow, wow, wowwww! Aghhh I completely identify with this - He is so beautiful- I constantly and consistently fail, but HE constantly and consistently comes through and SAVES THE DAY. I never feel "right" enough, but this also doesn't mean that I don't ever get too prideful, because I definitely swing from ones side to the other in a matter of minutes most days. But the beautiful part is that on both sides, the palms of His hands override everything and make me clean and NEW!!
Laughter is the most precious gift Jesus gave us :)
"Ultimately, it is MY view of you that counts." - Jesus from "Jesus Calling" - He has to get this in my mind and heart every. single. day.
"Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait upon the LORD." Psalm 27:14 He has the most perfect timing - maybe because He created it! and everything!!! ahh He is just so cool!!
Never forget that "His banner of you is love" Live in the "shadow of His wings" :D
Jesus loves you more than you can fathom or imagine!!!
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